Today is the second anniversary of my mom’s death. It is interesting the skills you sharpen after saying “goodbye” and what a gift they are. Here are two big gifts (for two years), when looking back, I realize I gained from my mom Two Years After Goodbye.
Community – My mom had a LARGE circle of friends and a tight group of close friends. She taught me to have a friend you must be a friend…and that includes letting friends into your grief and gratitude. Oftentimes it was by being in community with my “crew” of close friends that I was able to redirect my “blues jog” into a new “lap around happy lane.” Laughing and sharing with friends is a sweet balm for a multitude of situations. Through the friendship I had with my mom, and watching her enjoyment with her friends, she gifted me the tools of cultivating friendships with people who want my best and me theirs.
Faith – My mom’s faith was a BIG part of who she was. One of my strongest recollections of Mom is her reading the Bible each morning when I was little – probably because I was sitting next to her staring at her while she did it (Spaceman may relate to my “love stare”). In later years we would have many conversations about God’s Word and the comfort and purpose it brings to daily life. This foundation has been a gift I have found grounding during the, at times, shaky ground since her absence.
Although the world became a little dimmer for a while after she passed, her sudden death was a wake-up call to me that each day is precious and not promised. There are so many blessings all around me (especially in Spaceman and my dad) and experiences where I feel her close that, when the shadow of her loss starts to creep over me, I bask in the sunshine of all the years we had together and remember that one day it will no longer be “goodbye” that I say to her, but rather “hello”.